In the film In Bruges, lead character Ray speculates the definition of Hell could be an eternity living in the Belgian town of Bruges. BILL WATT reckons there could be worse fates.
After watching the black comedy In Bruges at the cinema more than 15 years ago, I decided I needed to visit the mediaeval Belgian town that was the star of the show.
And, when I finally made it to Bruges recently, I realised what a worthwhile ambition it was. As gangster Harry (Ralph Fiennes) says in the film: "It's a fairy tale town, isn't it? How's a fairy tale town not somebody's f*cking thing? How can all those canals and bridges and cobbled streets and those churches, all that beautiful f*cking fairy tale stuff, how can that not be somebody's f*cking thing, eh?"
This fairy tale town is actually picture perfect. The mediaeval architecture is incredibly beautiful and the location of these amazing buildings along a network of canals is icing on the cake.
There are grand museums, mythical bridges, ancient churches, famed works of art, grand squares, fine eating establishments, picturesque parks, breweries and chocolate shops.
Horses clip clop their way through cobbled streets and over bridges trailing old style buggies, carrying tour guides and travellers from all over the world. There are few cars to ruin your happy snaps ... although, like nearly everywhere in this part of Europe, cyclists can be a menace.
HIGH & MIGHTY
To get a great overview of the town it is worth a visit to the top of the Belfry of Bruges (Belfort van Brugge), a World Heritage-listed building with a history dating back to the 13th Century. But, be warned it's 366 steps to the top, and not an easy climb at that.
The Belfry, situated in the grand Markt Square, features prominently in In Bruges, in both hilarious and dark ways (no spoilers), so I really had to climb to the top. My knees survived ... just, and the view as I staggered up the last step was well worth it.
HOLY HOUSES
Bruges has more than 30 churches, but there's no need to visit them all. As you wander the town on foot you can admire many of them from the outside. The main holy spots to visit are the Basilica of the Holy Blood and the Church of Our Lady, both of which have a museum. But, hear my confession: I missed out on "venerating" the Holy Blood of Christ relic presented to worshippers daily at the Basilica.
I did, however, get a good look at the Madonna of Bruges, a sculpture by the famous Italian artist Michelangelo which abides in the impressive Church of Our Lady. The priceless statue has been stolen from Bruges twice, once by Napoleon's forces (returned from Paris) and later by Hitler's gangsters (returned after being found hidden in an Austrian salt mine in 1945).
There was also a container holding a piece of the arm bone of St Anthony the Abbot, which was mildly fascinating. Unfortunately, there was no explanation about how the relic was obtained. I'm still mulling over that riddle.
WATER VIEWS
But, it is Bruges' canals that really captured my heart. They twist and meander through the old town, past all the wonderful neighbourhoods with their historic buildings, private residences (extremely expensive real estate today) and businesses and under ancient bridges.
The best way to see the canals, (the town, predictably, has been dubbed by many as the Venice of the North), is of course from the canals themselves. So a canal tour is a must-do. Despite the rain lashing down at times, my wife and I found it to be a fun and enlightening experience that revealed the inner character of the historic town.
Of course, there was an In Bruges film element to our canal sojourn. We cruised up by the waterside hotel where Ray (Colin Farrell) and Ken (Brendan Gleeson) are holed up at in the film - Relais Bourgondisch Cruyce Hotel (no spoilers!).
BEER BABBLE
On our canal tour, we cruised past some prime drinking and eating possibilities, one of which we noted for further investigation. It was a great little "ale house" at the Bourgogne des Flandres brewery, sitting at a prime location on the Groenerei (Green Canal), touted as the most picturesque of Bruges' waterways.
I ordered a beer flight with six samples of fine Belgian beer. Strangely, my favourite was Timmermans Kriek black pepper and red cherry lambic beer. It was bloody delicious, despite the fruity concoction being massively different to the beer I might buy at a Sydney local.
While we are on the topic of beer ... Bruges was the place I enjoyed my favourite ale of our six weeks away in Europe. It was Gouden Carolus Cuvée van de Keizer Imperial Dark, a delightful dark concoction infused with single malt whisky. What a beer, but dangerously powerful, coming in at a whopping 11.7 per cent alcohol. FYI: I found this delight in an establishment in quiet nook behind the Belfry, called, unimaginatively, The Pub.
Still on beer. There is another 'brewpub' - 2be Beer - with a massive display wall of, yep, beer. The Belgians are famous for their love of beer, for good reason, it seems.
SHANKS' PONY
As I said earlier, horses with their buggies are there for tourists to get acquainted to the town. They look great and make terrific photos, especially selfies while riding in the buggies. And, the canal tours are a must-do to orientate yourself and taste the character of Bruges. However, nothing beat shanks' pony (your own two feet). Get your walking shoes and you won't miss other highlights of this beautiful town, including:
Burg Square: A majestic square surrounded by landmark buildings including the 14th Century gothic-style town hall and the Basilica of the Holy Blood (mentioned briefly above).
Rosary Quay (Rozenhoedkaai): The town’s most popular selfie/Instagram spot. Once a place where rosaries were sold, today it's a sacred spot for tourist happy-snappers. I can understand why - the view is magical.
Minnewater: Known as the Lake of Love, Minnewater is a selfie taker's delight. But it also has other powers. It is said that if you walk over the lake's bridge with your partner you will experience eternal love.
Princely Beguinage Ten Wijngaarde: This quarter made up of gardens and rows of white houses was once home of the beguines, free women who led pious, celibate and independent lives. Founded in1245, it is now the home of nuns from the Order of St Benedict and single women - locals from Bruges - wishing to live serenely in a quiet and serene area.
Hanseatic Quarter: This was the mediaeval port and business heart of mediaeval Bruges when it was one of Europe's most important trading centres.
PS
My final two tips regarding visiting this mediaeval marvel: 1. Watch (and enjoy) In Bruges a good few weeks before you fly out; and 2. Watch the film on your tablet or streamed to your hotel TV while in the town. We did this the night after climbing the Belfry. It is a truly hilarious film, if quite dark, and watching it 'in situ' just added to the experience.
*The writer paid for his own holiday. He drove to Bruges in a car hired at Brussels Airport (Avis) and stayed at the quaintly cool and reasonably-priced Albert 1 Hotel, one street from the old town and with wonderful breakfasts.
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